“Where is the time to pursue my interests?!”

I believe the above words describe a feeling that is shared by us all to different extents. It is a rare individual who has not felt so.

 

Now, there could be many reasons underlying our inability to do what we want or aim to. One of the major reasons, I think, is our habitual way of living our daily lives without conscious awareness or mindfulness about many of our activities and behaviors.

 

We do a number of things repeatedly, day in and out, caught in a sort of vortex, because such actions give us momentary rewards, soothing our immediate craving for reward or reinforcement, just like lighting up a cigarette when the nicotine craving arises.

 

This is not a philosophical statement alone. It is a well-understood, psychological/neuroscientific theory supported by empirical data that a number of our daily deeds help our brain’s reward system to find reward. Clicking through the TV channels, twiddling through WhatsApp messages, scrolling down Facebook pages, checking email periodically, and so forth. Craving for cigarettes is based in the same neural reward system as twiddling through a WhatsApp message.

 

We even set aside those things that we want to do, that are of greater importance, passion or necessity, falling prey to our cravings. We excuse ourselves constantly, that we do not have time, or have been too busy, and so forth, while in reality we have no clue why. Breaking the vortex of habitual action, in my view, requires strong and sudden change in behavior and action – slow and gradual ways of changing ourselves are conceptually possible but practically ineffective, although there may be exceptions.

 

Based on the above thoughts, here are a few practical tips that I use to inspire myself, sustain the interest for prolonged periods of months and years, and do what I want to do consistently.

 

1. Stop saying there is no time to do things you want to do.  

Thoughts come from words. When you don’t say, you don’t think so, eventually.

 

2. Evaluate your daily habits (even listing your activities from morning to evening) and identify those that are of great interest or great necessity, but others that are just habitual. Decide to cut those habitual actions IMMEDIATELY (Now!). 

My examples of habitual actions that I immediately cut were WhatsApp group activity, Facebook messages, sitting in front of the TV (that was long ago; we have not had one since 2006, I guess).

 

3. Make explicit TIME and SPACE for pursuing your interests and necessities.

Interests and necessities can be research, reading, writing, sports, meditation, music, social service, house chores, cooking, your profession, being with children, trekking, running etc.

 

4. Making TIME means, allocating and strictly assigning part of your day to your activity of interest or necessity. Importantly, once set, stick to it, if you miss it, come back and try to stick to it doggedly.

Part of the day could be 15 minutes or 2 hours. It can be one contiguous time or brief periods in the middle of other activities, for e.g., I do my writings, readings and listening on my daily travel on bus and train to & fro from work which takes 3 hours in total.

 

5. Making SPACE means, allocating a part of your house, apartment, work place, or residential area, to pursue your activity, and sticking to it like gum all the time.

For example, allocating a corner in your apartment for your table, chair and books for reading and writing (not in the living room where all the others are around, unless you can shut your mind to others). 

 

6. Always retire to the set SPACE at the set TIME to do your activity, as much as possible. 

Keep to this day in and day out. If you can eat, drink, go to the toilet, and talk to people out of sheer necessity, you can do these things too.

 

7. Make it explicitly known to your family that this is your set TIME and SPACE for your activity, and the great need for you to do this.

When I do Yoga or meditation, when I retire to my study to do my things, or when I go every day for a run of 30 minutes, or when I take Brezel for a walk, or when I get a drink of wine daily, everybody knows that that is my routine because I have been doing it for a long time.

 

8. Learn to respect and keep to your TIME and SPACE, and let the other members of the family find their own TIME and SPACE. 

Certain TIMES and SPACES are shared by the family as a whole, and that is fun too.

 

This has generally been my way, but it might work for you too. Try, but stick to it…

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